It was this year that I have lost 2 close WoW friends, both guildies, both people who were respected and adored by other guildies.
First there was Xyn. That was sudden, unexpected and a shock. Suddenly I had a hole in my life and I hadn't really thought about how to fill it.
But this is about Luxy.
Last year, Luxy was diagnosed with breast cancer. She told me she had a lump and I had told her not to worry, in her young age (early 30s) it was most likely to be a fibroadenoma. I was wrong. It was malignant, aggressive and invasive. Yesterday my dear friend passed away in the early hours of the morning in her sleep, but had spent her last moments with her mum, sister and husband.
Luxy had cut back from WoW and after she was ill and having chemo she hardly logged on at all. In fact she didn't really play or raid as much during WoD, and had been playing Guild wars mostly. Once she started chemotherapy, she was tired and drained of energy and rarely played her computer, which was then followed by radiation therapy which she told me was just as hard.
Throughout, she had been very positive, and we would keep up with messages. We'd laugh about silly things. Just like our usual stuff. I sent her fake eyelashes and lip balms in a berry bag I bought from Smiggle as a cancer care pack. I was happy she used it (and it would pop up all over the place like a selfie)
I also gave her a light from Mylight (though technically she won it with lucky RNG-esus) with the word Eugoogly (which she said always makes her laugh). I remember having NO idea what it meant, and when she told me I was mortified!
For those who don't know Zoolander movie very well (like me!) it's from there. It means eulogy. Wow. I just gave a cancer patient a gift that says EULOGY.
I think some people were afraid to talk to her about her cancer for fear of upsetting her, for not knowing what to say, but she was happy to talk and be open about it. I remember last birthday I said I would send her something outrageous and unexpected that she totally doesn't need and she said she didn't know what she wanted for her birthday so we were being silly and I said let's make a list of things she didn't want for her birthday which included cancer (coz she already had that 😢😢), hair products and wig wash (another thing she already had).
But I don't want the whole post to be about Luxy and her cancer. That wasn't what defined her. She hated her cancer.
I'll just tell the story of my life with Luxy, which is peppered throughout my blog, as a forever reminder of our friendship.
I met Luxy in 2013, because of Pet battles. She was the #1 pet battler on Dath'remar and I'd see her around the pet battle circuit and one day she bnet friended me to talk to me because I was waving at her and emoting her (she was alliance) and she gave me tips on pet battling. Looking at that post, I didn't realise that whilst we were looking at Veluxia at #1 on server, Luxygaga is #6! Ha, back then I didn't know that was the same person!
One time we were doing Darkmoon Rabbit and she'd let me know when it was up, and the time I let her know it was up she came on her horde hunter (which was on Barthilas). And she won it with a 100 roll!
Weeks later, she sent me a gift!
So that was essentially our friendship. Trading gifts back and forth, chatting about things. Luxy was always very generous and giving me things, there wasn't much I could do in return because she has EVERYTHING in game! So I did the only thing I could do - I sent her things IRL as gifts. Luxy was happy to receive gifts (which was good because I like sending them) and she has a whole array of fluffy toys, in game pets, even horde leggings! She is and was a great friend who was generous with her time as well as with her spirit. Eventually she joined Frostwolves and she made lots of friends there, but especially with Crooked, Tacky and Faith.
One special gift I got for her was a chibi commission of her draenei priest, Veluxia, done by Sleepingfox.. She used it in her avatars and she loved it!
She and I wrote a comic blog together - The Faily Frostwolf - but after Luxy stopped playing we didn't update it very much. I'd like to start that up again - when I have the time. Luxy even was inspired to blog!
We loved pet battling. Here is me, Luxy and Tacky as we collected Qiraji guardlings (from Tacky's blog).
And Tacky's cool Team Rocket Pokemon team transmog! With these awesome pets we designed!
The cool thing being of course that MY wished for pet actually became a battle pet!
I even have short stories with us in them - like this one where we said goodbye to Dahahka as he quit WoW. She LOVED cats and dogs. She had a house full of pets! And she also loved Hello Kitty!
Time. I had time to tell Luxy all those things I wanted her to know before she died. I didn't have time with Xyn. I couldn't talk to her by that stage - she was too weak, too tired - but Rav, her husband (they married the day before she died in a beautiful ceremony) passed on all the messages we sent her and replied on her behalf. But even when I sent my last long message to her, I didn't realise that the next day she would be gone.
I will miss the friend that used to pet battle with me. Chase achievements. Talk about animals and pets. I will miss the friend that was always kind and gentle, and was always sweet and caring. She was never angry, never bitter, always trying to be the better and kinder person. Never had anything nasty to say about anyone. Always like a conscience to make me want to be better, when sometimes inside I would love to boil in my anger and take my frustrations out on people in PvP. A bit different to Xyn, who would listen to my frustrations and either argue with me and make me more angry, or agree with me and we'd feed off each other making us both all riled up about whatever indignation it was.
I will miss her voice, that I used to tease her about. She had one of those cute girl voices that you would hear and go OMG I would do anything for that voice, she sounds so sweet and innocent! And now I will never hear her voice again.
I had already gotten used to not seeing her in game, waiting till she got better. I saved her things - the last thing I gave her was the Fel Spreader toy that dropped in the Pre-Legion event. I spent ages farming them for guildies and I made sure I got one for Luxy because she was such a collector of toys, mounts, pets and achievements. She was happy and even posted a pic of us on twitter when I gave it to her!
There was a time in Pandaria where we'd go after raid farming Warbringers for mounts. Luxy and I would do it often, and we'd be joined by people and we liked that coz it was such a waste if a mount dropped that we already had! I found this picture of me, Xyn, Luxy and Voros on my blog one day, when we were out farming Warbringers.
We even wrote a comic about it!
How can I NOT cry when 2 of my friends in this picture are now dead within 3 months of one another?
I cried for days when Xyn died, but I was grateful I had nothing between us left unsaid. But I have been scared for Luxy since she came off chemo. I thought she would get better, I thought it would be early enough. The day she told me that she had her post scan and what the ultrasonographer said and that her oncology appointment got bumped forward urgently I was afraid. I shed a tear then, because I knew if the cancer had spread, this was the end. When she had symptoms a few days afterwards (and I did wonder if it was a bit of psychosomatic anxiety) I watched the video of me and Luxy dancing as Scotty sprites and tears welled in my eyes as I thought I might never get to play with her again.
She started chemo again and then not long after she said her tumours are still growing. I knew then it was bad. That she had 2 months at the most.
It turned out to be less than that.
I wanted to put this in because Luxy was so helpful to everyone but this comic showed the one time it wasn't that helpful!!
And here is Crooked, Tacky, Faith and me looking up at the stars in Dragon Soul. Luxy (and Rav) believed that we are all made of stardust, and that she and he were connected from long ago, and will be for an eternity. Rav said "She would tell me that her stardust has, and always will, love mine."
Our stardust will love you too, Luxy. And your friends in WoW will sit here looking at the stars, knowing you are out there and one day we will be all together again.