It is stupid to feel like everything that doesn't go right is my fault or my responsibility. I know that. Just that sometimes when things don't go right, I sit there thinking about it and wondering how I could have done it better. Like, a LOT.
Take for example, recruiting. I feel it's like a personal failure on my part if people don't perform well, and I guess the reasoning behind that is like it was my pick, but you have to start SOMEWHERE.
The new guys are slowly gearing up, but their damage has not increased to a satisfactory amount. I'm pretty patient, and think that people need to find their stride, but everyone else complains that it holds us back. It doesn't help I suppose that our top few dps have decided to take a break, but I have always advocated that superchickens do not make a team. Working together make a team. Yes damage counts for it too, but that should come with time and practice. Unfortunately, not everyone is as patient as me, nor do they have as much faith.
(I actually also felt guilty that me recruiting caused some of our team to quit raiding. But perhaps it was a good excuse for them to take a break? I think if you're sick of the game you tend to get more cranky and easily upset by game things. Take what happened with Madcow, as an example. He and I have since kissed and made up so we're all good now - he was sick of the game and the argument about the addon was the last straw.)
I feel personally responsible that they have not lived up to expectations. Part of the reason why our highest DPS players stopped playing was because they felt like we were carrying them - and perhaps we were. However, when you recruit, you always have to recruit lower and train up, just like in real life. For example, why would someone with my qualifications apply for a training job? Even if they were short of trainees? Of course I wouldn't because I am overqualified for it. Why would I take a paycut, get worse hours and less management responsibilities, if I was looking for a job, when there are other places that would take me at the higher paygrade?
I imagine that people who have good ilvl and already done 13/13H are thinking like that. So we are left with whoever hasn't done that. Which is why we will always get people who are not as geared.
There is also the flipside. People who are looking for guilds feel like they are never given the opportunity to be able to prove themselves because they "haven't got the ilvl or the AotC". And of course, you can't get into a PuG to get the AotC because they don't want to take you if you haven't got the AotC achievement. So it's a vicious cycle and people end up disillusioned, and they quit playing the game.
It's hard to find the people that are those that start from not much and work their way up to being great additions to the team. I remember Hwired started like that - he only PvP'd and came to raid with us and played well and rapidly became an officer and raid leader - though, he does get bored easily and has since quit playing. Danleet/Thohand was like that too - my one and only raider who came through the in-game guild finder tool - and he has been fun to play with and a great team member. The thing with Dan was that he did casual raiding on the weekends and then worked his way up to Heroic raiding. Not so easy now because we've cut back on weekend raiding due to lack of interest or people needing it, but perhaps when expansions/patches hit, those are the times we do that.
I was feeling more glum about the whole thing yesterday, but I feel perked up today because one guildie said that instead of being down on the new people for wipes and not so great play, that we should be helping them. This came from someone I didn't expect, and I felt like perhaps the generous heart of the Frostwolf is still there, and even if I am the only one who tries my hardest for it to continue, even if I influenced one person to think the same way, then the effort and the emotional ride are worth it all in the end.
I guess I won't give up my recruitment forum trawling just yet then!