"You haven't told me a new story for such a long time, Mama," said my daughter, accusingly. "When are you going to tell me a new story? A World of Warcraft one!"
"I've got a few stories I can tell you now," I replied. "Which one do you want to hear - the one about the two bad Shamans, or the one about the Evil General Nazgrim?"
"Is a shaman like Aunty Luxy? But a bad one?"
I laughed. "Yes, like bad Aunty Luxies. But they do bad things. Shamans are supposed to ASK the elements nicely to help them, but bad shamans MAKE the elements help them, even if the elements don't want to help."
"What's an element?"
My mouth twisted, squinting my eye as I tried to think of a way to explain it. "Shamans talk to the wind, fire, earth and water. They are called elements because people think that everything in the whole wide world is made up of bits of those elements. And there are spirits of all those elements and those spirits are what Shamans can talk to. So, what bad shamans do is they MAKE the elements do what they tell them."
My daughter paused as she considered what I told her. "Does that mean when you say I have to eat my dinner and I don't want to, does that mean you're a bad mama? Because you made me do it?"
Oh great. What have I started? "No, I tell you to eat dinner because it's GOOD for you, otherwise you'll be hungry later because there's no food. I wouldn't make you do it if it's bad for you. The bad shamans make the elements hurt good people, and that's what makes them bad." Ok, I needed to get off this topic. "Now can I tell you this story, or would you like to go to sleep now?"
There were two Dark Shamans, named Earthbreaker Haromm and Wavebinder Kardris. They used to be good shamans, and they trained lots of shamans over the years. But they liked the idea of Garrosh's bad army and so they became Dark shamans, riding their wolves Darkfang and Bloodclaw.
The two of them shared their lives with a Spirit Link - meaning that if you hit one, you also hit the other, so when they died, they died together at the same time. They both had 4 totems, which are those magic sticks in the ground. But though they used the same totems, they did different magic with it. The four totems were poisonmist, foulstream, ashfire and rusted iron, all very yucky and dirty names.
They were hiding inside Garrosh's old house, and we didn't like going and fighting them both inside there, so we'd get someone's pet to run inside and make them chase the pet till they were outside the house.
Now for this fight we did it a little bit differently, because we had THREE tanks! Two of the tanks would fight Haromm, and the other one would fight Kardris. We made 2 teams! The Haromm team had Uncle HK, Uncle Lushen, Aunty Luxy, Aunty Jazz, Uncle Asys and Mama (and Uncle Sev or Uncle Nath depending on who wanted to have a turn), and the Kardris team had Uncle Exray, Uncle Morz and Uncle Aza.
"Why are there so many people in the Haromm team?" my daughter asked.
"Haromm had special things which needed lots of people to help sort out. And Kardris does bad things and having less people out there made it easier to control those things."
Haromm hits the tank with Froststorm Strike, which means that tank will get hit so much harder the next time. So Uncle Lushen would go first, and when he got Froststorm Strike, Uncle HK would make Haromm hit him instead, so Uncle Lushen could have a rest and wait for the Froststorm strike magic to go away. Then they would swap again when Uncle HK got the Froststorm strike.
But as we keep killing Haromm he does MORE bad things. When his health goes down to 85% he puts a poison mist on 2 people and they will need healing all the time and it means they will take more damage from bad things. When he gets down to 65% he starts doing Foul Stream - where he looks at someone and puts a big yukky green on the ground which will hurt you if you stand in it, but it will hurt 10 times more if you have Poison mist on you so poisoned people have to run away really fast! When he's half dead, he starts making lines of Ash elementals who are like soldiers in a line who hit you when you come close to them. We have to stay away from those elementals and Uncle HK and Uncle Lushen have to make the elementals go into the wall and not out into the room otherwise those elementals will be in our way hitting us all the time!
Kardris has her own bad things too! She shoots Froststorm bolts at Uncle Exray which are ice spells that hurt a lot! Then at 85% she casts Toxic Storm, which makes a swirling purple cloud that stings you and it makes little tornadoes around the cloud that you have to stay away from or they throw you up HIGH into the air and hurt you too! Then at 65% she makes Foul Geyser, which is a stinky fountain that makes lots of DISGUSTING blobs and you have to kill the blobs because they follow you around and put acid on you that burns you. Then when she's half dead she casts Falling Ash, which makes a HUGE red circle on the ground. You can't stand in the red circle because a big bomb is going to fall out of the sky and land on your head and you'll DIE! But when the bomb falls on the ground, everyone gets hurt from the explosion a bit, but if you're health is all full, you won't die.
"OH MY GOSH!" said my daughter. "That's SO MANY bad things!"
"Heaps and heaps!" I said. "But there's one more bad thing that they do as well!"
"More bad things?"
Yes! Kardris puts a spell on you called Iron Prison and after one minute it pops and it kills you for ALL your health! And Haromm puts zombie stones underneath someone (Navi's note: Zombie stones are what my daughter and I call gravestones because zombies come out of them in the game Plants vs Zombies). You can tell if a zombie stone is coming because a little cloud comes out under your feet and you have to move away or it bangs into your foot for a BIG ouchie! And you can't get rid of the zombie stones, they're stuck there forever and they get in your way, so you have to make sure you stand next to the old zombie stone otherwise you'll get them EVERYWHERE!
"But you can put that thing that eats the zombie stones! Then they won't be in your way!" said my daughter.
"Wrong game," I said. "You can only put Grave Busters in the Plants vs Zombies game, but they don't have them in World of Warcraft."
"They should make it, then you can have lots of room again! Don't you think they should?"
"I think it would make it TOO EASY!! They just want to make things a little bit hard in World of Warcraft."
So the two dogs and the two shamans were outside now and we were ready to start fighting! We all stood next to the cages that had some prisoners in them and the tanks rushed in to start fighting. The dogs had to die first because they bite you quite hard! Then Uncle Lushen took Haromm inside the house, and Uncle Exray took Kardris away into the big courtyard outside the house.
Inside the house there was a round room with a big throne on one end and lots of little alcoves which are like cupboards but without doors. Uncle Lushen and Uncle HK stood inside the alcove, and made sure that Haromm wasn't looking at any of us. Aunty Luxy, Uncle Asys and Mama stood just behind Haromm, and Aunty Jazz and Uncle Nath (or Uncle Sev) had to stay far back and make sure they moved when they get the zombie stones. Haromm only gives Zombie Stones to two people who are really far away from him. Aunty Jazz was very good with zombie stones, she'd have them all stuck in one spot. Uncle Nath was like Uncle Sev - they liked putting Zombie stones in funny spots sometimes and it would make Uncle HK grumpy because he would get stuck on them as he tried to move from one alcove to another.
People were getting poisoned, but Mama and Uncle Asys healed people so they wouldn't die from it. And then Haromm started the Foul stream. Haromm picked one person and would look at them, and the foul stream would go right on top of them. It hurt a little bit, but not very much. The person he looked at had to stay very still so everyone else could run away, and Haromm would NEVER look at someone who already had the poison on them so people knew if they had the poison they would have to move when the Foul stream came.
After he did that a few times, then Uncle Morz would yell out to us from outside that Falling Ash was coming, which was the one that damage everyone because a bomb was going to fall into the big red circle. Mama and Uncle Asys had to make sure that everyone's health was ok otherwise they would die! Mama used her healing stars then to keep people topped up but it was probably not needed or Uncle Asys would use his spirit link totem which means we took less damage. Then after that Haromm would put out the wall and then Uncle HK and Uncle Lushen had to move it to the next alcove.
We kept doing the same thing for a while, over and over, and then when they got to 30% of their health they cast bloodlust and hit us harder and faster. We cast our bloodlust then too, and made us go faster. By now healing was so hard, and we had to make sure we kept everyone alive, and we were fast running out of alcoves to put Haromm in!
It was just as busy on the outside! After we ran into the house with Haromm, Uncle Exray made Kardris follow him around the outside, going anticlockwise.
"You know how a clock the hands go this way," I traced a circle in the air, clockwise. "That direction is called clockwise, because it's the same as a clock. Anticlockwise is when it goes the other way, like as if time went BACKWARDS."
"So Uncle Exray went backwards in time? How?"
I shook my head. "No, I mean he was going this way, around a circle." And I traced a circle in the air, anticlockwise.
Uncle Exray wanted to make sure all the clouds and whirlwinds didn't get in his way, so he went first, with Kardris following him, and Uncle Aza and Uncle Morz behind Kardris. The Iron Prisons didn't bother them because Uncle Morz would put his magic bubble on them and it wouldn't damage their health much at all! Which was much cleverer than Mama could do, she couldn't do that. Uncle Aza was busy because when Kardris made Foul Geyser, he had to kill all the little blobs from the disgusting fountain so they didn't hurt everyone else. Then Kardris started making the big red circle and everyone was running so they weren't standing in it when the bomb came down - BOOM!
All of us were fighting now to kill Haromm and Kardris before they killed us. And those last few seconds saw us making their health go down down down and then..
.. we won!
"Yay!" my daughter clapped. "What did you get?"
"There were lots of nice treasures from Dark Shamans! There was a weapon that Aunty Luxy and Mama both use now, there was a trinket that Uncle Nath and Uncle Lushen could use... and another trinket that Aunty Luxy and Uncle Aza could use."
"What's a trinket?"
"It's like a toy you put in your pocket and it gives you extra special abilities. It helped them hit harder. And there were lots of other pieces people could use too. But that was a tough fight! So much happening!"
"I think it sounded easy, Mama," said my daughter.
"Oh really?" I said, as I bent to tickle her and she squealed loudly. "For someone who can't even remember to put their bowl in the sink..."
"Stop stop!" she laughed.
"Or can't remember to pick your clothes up off the floor!"
"How do you think you can remember all those things that Haromm and Kardris do, huh? Mummy has difficulty remembering them sometimes!" I stopped tickling her and tucked the blankets around her.
"OK enough playing, let's go to sleep. I'm cold. Goodnight! We'll have another story next week."
"Next week?" wailed my daughter. "That's SOOO far away!"
"Next week will come faster if you go to sleep! Because, when you wake up, it will be one day closer to next week!"