"We haven't had a World of Warcraft story for a while, mummy," said my daughter. She wormed her feet into the crook behind my knees, because her feet were cold and I was warm. I squeezed her hand.
"Last time I told you the story about Iron Juggernaut you didn't like it, you said it was boring."
"No I didn't!" she said, glaring at me indignantly. "I can't remember that one! Can you tell me again?"
"I'll tell it again, but if you interrupt me all the time then I'll stop telling it, OK? Your brother is trying to sleep."
"Just whisper it then?"
And so I started whispering the story of how Frostwolves killed Iron Juggernaut.
Iron Juggernaut was a really big scorpion robot who was made by Siegemaster Blackfuse - who always loved making big bad machines! This big scorpion robot was guarding the gates to Orgrimmar, our city, so we couldn't get in and get to Garrosh. On it's big spiky tail there was a laser beam, that would shoot at us and burn us, it's mouth was like a big oven that could shoot out HUGE flames of fire, and one of its claws was a big sawblade - the other claw was a big scary looking drill. All over its body were guns and cannons, always shooting at us. It was a big scary machine, and it hurt everyone A LOT.
There was a big fence around Iron Juggernaut, mostly so that once we started fighting, the gates of the fence would close and we couldn't get out. But the fence was really helpful because Iron Juggernaut would knock us back really hard and having the fence there meant we couldn't get pushed back too far.
"What does knocking back mean? You mean knocking on a door?"
"Actually, knocking back is when you get hit so hard you get pushed back really hard. We call that a knock back."
"Haha! Is that like knocking on your back like this?" She reached around me to try to rap her knuckles on my shoulder.
"No, it's like if I pushed you really really hard and you fell out of bed, that's a knockback."
My daughter pouted. "That's not very nice, Mama."
"I never said that the knockback was nice, you funny girl!"
Uncle HK and Uncle Exray were the tanks - they had the important job of making Iron Juggernaut look at them because it would blast fire at them from its mouth and burn them and make their armour melt! They would take turns after each of them had 2 or 3 fires on them, because if they had any more fire on them, they would die.
When Uncle HK and Uncle Exray weren't tanking Iron Juggernaut, they had to go jump on bombs. Iron Juggernaut would throw crawler bombs at people and then the bombs would dig into the ground and start ticking! If you didn't jump on the bomb then the bomb would explode and cause damage to EVERYONE there, but if someone was really brave, like Uncle HK or Uncle Exray, and jumped on the bomb they would save everyone from getting hurt, but they would take all the damage instead and go boom! They'd get blown up high in the air and then land on the ground with a big THUMP!
"You mean like in Captain America when Captain America was small he jumped on a bomb to save everyone else?"
"Yes! Except lucky it didn't go off for Captain America because he would have died because he had no armour on."
"Wow, that's really brave of Uncle Exray and Uncle HK."
I giggled. "I am going to tell them that next time, that you thought they were brave. I bet they'll love it."
Sometimes, if people were too far away then it was hard for Uncle Exray and Uncle HK to get to them. Uncle Nath and Aunty Jazz were happy to help! They could sometimes take a bomb, but only if they used their special abilities which meant they could only do it once in a while, in an emergency. Uncle Nath was a hunter and he used his Deterrence which was a spell which made little knives spin around him which made him take lots less damage for a few seconds, and Auntie Jazz used her Dispersion which turned her into a shadowy cloud that doesn't take damage.
"Dispersion and Deterrence both start with D," said my daughter. "That's funny isn't it!"
"It is," I said. "D is for Damage! No, D is for Don't Do DAMAGE!" Oh, I was very proud of that.
"Haha, you're silly, Mama!"
"I know." I grinned, unapologetically.
Iron Juggernaut also shot its mortar cannon at us, which put a big red circle on the ground. You only had a second or two to run out of the red circle before the cannonball hit you. It also shot people randomly with Laser burn which made them burn for a few seconds. AND THEN! It also did a borer drill attack which made spikes come out of the ground and hurt you feet and they would chase you, so you had to run away from them but be careful not to run towards other people because then THEY would get your ouchy spikes in the foot too. And as if that wasn't enough, Iron Juggernaut also threw it's sawblade at us like a boomerang which would knock you back and hurt you. It meant that the healers, Uncle Morz, Uncle Asys and Mama were very, very busy, healing everyone as well as trying not to get hit by all the bad things that Iron Juggernaut did to us. It helped a lot if people would try not to stand in bad stuff, because the more bad stuff they stood in, the more they died and it was too hard to heal.
We used our bloodlust, which made us hit faster and cast spells faster, as soon as we started the fight. This was because everyone was alive and we were all standing next to Iron Juggernaut. After 2 minutes, Iron Juggernaut changed to tank mode, where he would stand still and do different things. One part of the fence went a LOOONG way back, and as soon as he changed to tank mode, we started running there. It helped a lot when Uncle Aza or Uncle Sev put their warlock portals so we could take them to the spot where we had to meet up.
"What's a portal?"
"It's like a magic door that can make you move to another spot far away."
Sometimes, Uncle HK got very grumpy with Uncle Sev or Uncle Aza. They liked putting their portals near where we were fighting and sometimes one of the bombs would be next to one of the portal doors, and when Uncle Hk tried to step on it he accidentally went through the doorway to VERY FAR AWAY. You could hear him yelling whenever that happened, and so Uncle Nath knew when he had to jump on one of the bombs for him.
Ok, so when Iron Juggernaut was in tank mode, he didn't have to have Uncle HK and Uncle Exray holding him anymore because he didn't shoot fire from his mouth, and so EVERYONE ran far away because it did MANY MANY more red circles on the ground. But, he would only put those red circles close to him and running far away meant we didn't get hit by any red circles! Before, he was doing one every 12 seconds or so, but in the tank phase he would have 4 or 5 all around and it was so hard to try to not stand in one. He also turned into an earthquake making machine for that whole time, and those earthquakes hurt us for that whole time he was in tank mode. If we thought there was a lot of healing to be done in the first part, the tank part was even MORE healing!
One of the new things he did was throw yucky oil puddles at you. It hurt standing in them because it was hot oil and it burned your feet, so you had to move.
Another new thing he did was Shock pulse. Whenever he did that he would knock you back REALLY far, and unless you put your back against something, it would be so far that you couldn't even see your friends anymore! But, because we were already so far away, and with all our friends, we were near the back wall so we just got pushed back into the wall and then we fell to the ground.
After he did one of those shock pulses, he started shooting us with a new laser that followed you. Whoever had the laser following them had to run away from us so that they didn't burn us with the laser, AND they had to make sure not to make the laser run over one of the yucky oil puddles, because do you know what happens when fire hits oil?
"It... goes BOOM?"
"Yes! It goes BIG BOOM! Just like in the movies! And then we would die and we would have to start again. So it was really important for whoever was taking the laser to watch where they were running."
There were still crawler mines for Uncle HK and Uncle Exray to jump on so they were busy all the time. But because there were so many bad things happening, we had to use our special healing spells so that we didn't die. When we first ran back to the meeting point, Uncle Exray put up his anti magic purple bubble so that we wouldn't get damaged. Then the shock pulse would hit us, and after that mummy would use her tranquility, the magic healing stars. Then Uncle Morz would use his Bubble Shield and we'd all stand under that, and then we'd get another shock pulse and Aunty Luxy and Uncle Asys would both put down a healing tide totem, which was one of their magic sticks which would help heal us all a little bit. Then Uncle Asys used Spirit link totem, which was a special magic stick only for healing shamans that would make us take only half the damage that we would have had, and help with healing for us. Uncle HK also used his avert harm which meant he would make us take less damage and give that damage to him instead. It was so busy, and everyone would be running around like crazy, avoiding the laser and the yucky oil and then Iron Juggernaut would stop being in tank mode and go back into fighting mode and we had to run back to him and do it all again.
By then, mummy and Uncle Morz needed more mana (or healing energy) because we used ours all up trying to heal so much, and Uncle Asys would use his mana tide stick to give us back some energy (Uncle Asys never seemed to run out of mana). Then we would start the whole thing again. We had to do ALL THAT STUFF one more time, and if we managed to do all the things right, we would win!
"And you won, right?"
"Yes we did! And there was lots of cool treasure you could get from Iron Juggernaut. Mummy got new wrist bands, and Uncle Asys got a ring. Uncle HK got some bracers too."
"I'm glad you got something this time."
"Me too. I love getting treasures! OK, now it's time to sleep."
My daughter closed her eyes. "Do you have a new story for next time?"
I stroked her head and whispered. "Yes, the next story I am going to tell you is about how we killed the Dark Shamans - the ones who are like bad Aunty Luxies."
"Oh good." She yawned and was silent after that. Well, Dark Shamans certainly had an interesting story. Luckily for me, that was for another day.