Monday, February 10, 2014

A Frostwolves Raiding Bedtime story - Heroic Immerseus

"Mama," my daughter said, after she had finished reading her book to me, "Can you tell me a World of Warcraft story?"

I picked up her book and put it back on the shelf.  "Which story do you want? Do you want me to tell you the story of Dos-Ryga?"  She shook her head.

"How about Lucky Yi, the cricket? Or maybe Wicked Nitun?"  I was thinking back of my Pandaren Beast of Fable stories.

She screwed up her face, thinking.  "No, I've heard those ones.  Can I have a new story?"

Oh dear, what am I going to tell this time, I thought to myself.  I racked my brain for something new to tell her - I had used quests, the Tillers, and raid kills as my stories.... Aha, that's it!

"Lie down next to me," I said.  "And let me tell you the story of how Mummy and her friends killed the big bad water monster, Immerseus."

An older pic of Frostwolves and Immerseus
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It was 9 o'clock and all the little kids were in bed, so Mama went down to play World of Warcraft with her friends.  All Mama's friends were there - Uncle HK and Uncle Xyn were there.  They were the "tanks" and they could take the big hits without dying.

"Why are they tanks?" my daughter asked.  "Are they driving tanks?"

"No," I said.  "They're called tanks because tanks can get hit by bullets and swords and arrows and not die.  Can I finish telling the story?"

"Yes," she said meekly, and I continued.

Then we had the damagers, the ones who could do big damage to the bad people.  Uncle Sev and Uncle Aza were there.  Both warlocks, they used magic from demons to hit baddies really hard, but used their magic in different ways.  Uncle Az liked throwing fireballs around, whereas Uncle Sev liked using magics that stuck to you and hurt you all the time.  Then there was Uncle Sabre, who was a hunter, and he would shoot things with his gun and he had really cool pets with funny names.

"What kind of funny names?" asked my daughter.

"Ummm..." Yeah, OK, I shouldn't have said that to my daughter.  Sabre names his pets all sorts of dreadful names that I wouldn't have known were naughty till someone pointed them out. Like Minge, Merkin and GTstripe... "Well, he just calls his pets dirty names..."

"Dirty, like as in poo-poo?"


"Yes!  Dirty like in Poo-poo.  Or dirty like in not wiping your bottom after poo-poo."

"YUCK!"

Yuck indeed.

There was also Aunty Luxy, who shoots lightning everywhere and uses the power of nature to hurt people, and she always likes to wear pretty clothes.  Then there was Uncle Exray and Uncle Lushen, who were cousins and lived in the same house.  Uncle Exray was a birdie who would cast magic spells with stars and sun powers, and Uncle Lushen was a zombie who never talked much but he used kung-fu moves and kicked people a lot and did a lot of whoo-wha stuff to them.

"Why doesn't he talk much?" my daughter asked.

"Because he's shy," I said.

"Why is he shy?"

"Because he doesn't need to talk because Uncle Exray talks for him."

"Like my little brother? He doesn't talk properly, he talks like a baby even though he's 4."

"Not quite like that.  Uncle Lushen knows how to talk, he just doesn't WANT to talk.  Just like how you don't like talking when there's a whole bunch of strangers around, right?  Now let me finish telling this story, OK?"

Then there were the people who healed everyone.  There was Mama, with her tree magic; there was Uncle Asys with his water magic and special totems..

"What's a totem?"

"It's umm... a magic stick in the ground.  It can do cool things like make your magic stronger and faster, or give you more energy so you can still use your magic."

.. And there was Uncle Morz who used his magic to make force fields on everyone so they don't get hurt.  But, there was too many people.  You can only have 10 people to kill a monster, and we had 11.  Uncle Sabre was nice and said he would sit out, and we said next time he can come.

"That's not very fair," said my daughter.

"He was being nice. It's ok, he'll get his turn next time. Besides, Uncle Sabre has gotten more treasures than anybody else in the group."

So we all went to see the big water monster, Immerseus.  He was BIG and stood in the middle of the room like a fountain with a mouth and arms!  Uncle Xyn put some markers down so we knew where we had to stand and then we started fighting him.  All the people using magic would throw all their big spells PEW PEW PEW, Uncle Xyn hit him with his sword and used his shield so he wouldn't get hurt so much, and Uncle HK and Uncle Lushen were kicking and punching him.

Immerseus would fight back at us by putting puddles of yucky black stuff under our feet, and if you don't get out of it, you would die.  So it wasn't long before you saw lots of black yuck stuff everywhere and you had to be careful where you stepped.  Also, every time someone hit Immerseus, he would throw a blob at you, and if you didn't stop hitting Immerseus and kill the blobs, the blobs would all gang up on you and you would die, so every now and then, they had to stop hitting Immerseus and kill some blobs.

Uncle Sev had a special job.  He got to hit Immerseus all the time, which meant everyone else had to kill his blobs.  Mama had to keep a special eye on him because he got bad magic on him because he was doing that and Mama had to use her cleaning magic to get it off him, otherwise he would die.  Uncle Asys was very busy looking after Uncle Xyn and Uncle HK because they were getting hit very hard.  Uncle Morz was putting bubbles on everyone so they wouldn't get hurt so much.

After a while, Immerseus ran out of blobs to throw at us, and then he started to shoot a big water spray from his mouth.  It hurt a lot if you stood in it, and sometimes you would DIE, so we would try very hard to run away from it, or run through it, or run to the back of the room where it couldn't reach us.

Everyone kept hitting and hitting Immerseus until his health went to zero, and then BOOM!  He exploded into lots of little blobs, all over the room.  There were blue blobs and black blobs, and they all started crawling back towards the middle, so they could make Immerseus whole again - so you have to KILL the black blobs, or heal the blue blobs before they reached the middle.  If you didn't do that, each time one blob hit the middle it would make a big explosion and it would hurt A LOT!

Some blobs reached the middle and Immereus grew big again!  So we had to start all over again, doing the same thing.  But it was easier this time because we had killed some of the blobs and made his energy low.  It wasn't long before he went BOOM again and we had to go and get rid of all the little blobs.

Immerseus was getting really weak now.  He was almost dying, and so everyone was hitting him really hard and his health got lower and lower....

"And then he died?" my daughter asked.

"Yes," I replied.  "And then he died."

"And then?"

"Then we saw he had dropped a treasure chest so we went to go pick up the treasure!  There was GOLD in it and everyone got to share in the gold.  There was also some special treasure too!  Uncle Xyn got some new bracelets, and Mama got some new shoes.  Uncle Lushen and Uncle HK both got a new hat. And everyone was very happy! Yay!! The end."

"Yay!" my daughter said.  "I liked that story - can I have another one tomorow?"

"OK, I'll tell you another story tomorrow." I said. "Now, you're supposed to sleep - Mama is going downstairs."

"Why?  Can't you stay here a bit longer?"

I smiled.  "I need to go and make sure I have another story to tell you tomorrow."


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And you guys wonder why I am late to raid all the time...

17 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. LOL thanks Tacky! My daughter really likes the Immerseus story - I've had to tell it twice already!

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  2. You tell such wonderful bedtime stories!

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    1. Thanks Kam! Wonderful in the nerdy wow sense rather than the classic sense though :P

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  3. Poo-poo Uncle Sabre! LOL!

    I love this! :D

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    Replies
    1. That Uncle Sabre... You would expect more from a bank manager with pre-teen kids...

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    2. Damn...now I am going to be know as the creepy uncle....oh well all families have one I suppose :)
      Sabre

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  4. Aw, now I want to write more stories! Wonderful, Navi!

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    Replies
    1. What do you mean - you've been writing fiction constantly! I feel like I've been a little lazy when it comes to my imagination lately... but this story gives me a giggle because it's an easy story to tell to a child and it comes out rather amusingly also :P and my daughter likes it!

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  5. "Uncle Sev liked using magics that stuck to you and hurt you all the time"

    Navi! Your daughter is going to grow up thinking warlocks are BAD PEOPLE! D:

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    Replies
    1. At least she isn't filling her head with lies! KNOWING warlocks are bad people will do her well! :P

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    2. You consort with demons. Demons are supposed to be bad. Nuff said.

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    3. First Luxy insulting the people her class has needlessly slaughtered, and now Navi starts on the demon insults (and after all Bheetom has done for her)! Frankly, I am appalled at the shocking levels of prejudice displayed by the Druid/Shammy community here ...

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  6. You should make a series called Bedtime Story Strats because after reading that I think I understand what to do if I ever found myself looking at Immerseus!

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    Replies
    1. LOL Ancient! Now you make me feel like writing them all down!

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  7. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh...now I understand the fight :). Awesome story telling...you should make a youtube of this.

    Sabre

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