Monday, October 28, 2013

"How do I Hate Thee" - a poem about Gulp Frogs

Based on "How Do I Love Thee" by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

How do I hate thee?  Let me count the ways.
Your crappy stacks of poison make me pissed
If Blizz deleted you, you won't be missed.
My damage sucks as heals, try as I may
Hitting you as melee, makes my heart twist.
I hate thee freely, as I nurse my sore wrist
I hate thee purely, for as ranged it's OK
I hate thee with a passion put to use
There's no grief more great when Toxin 10 stacks
Instantly kills me and gives me the POOS.
Celestial Gods! Please grant me their death!
Or let Bufo drop a pet if you choose!
I shall but love thee more upon their last breath.

Gulp Frogs and Kilnmasters have to rate as the most IRRITATING mobs as a melee on the Timeless Isle. Especially as a tank (ie, I kill slowly), since that's the only way I can kill anything around there.  I run through trying to get to the water and have a trail of frogs throwing toxin at me, and displacer beast, nature's grasp, swim form isn't enough to get me far enough away to get away from their attacks.  Well, I lie, it's ok for ONE gulp frog attacking me, but not more than one!  And killing them as a healer?  Well, a typhoon and roots are useful but only against ONE as well.  I swear, the Isle was made for Warlocks...


I have to spend ages sitting there trying to clear room so I can kill Bufo without myself dying (which to this day, I have not done successfully as I have always died when I spend time there alone).  I was feeling frustrated the other day and advertised in trade WTB Gulp Froglet, and someone told me they weren't tradeable... I was sure they were, but I didn't argue with him.  And they ARE tradeable!  Gosh, at least there is hope for me yet.  Thank the Celestials for the Auction House.


12 comments:

  1. Gulp Frogs are awful! I completely agree with you about them and the kilnmasters being the worst. Though I hate Cinderfall too. When Seish tries him with a group I play ranged paladin and just cast exorcism and judgement from a long way off. lol I wish that was a viable strategy for Gulp Frogs.

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    1. Cinderfall is also in the "you suck" category for me too. Though now I just tag it from afar with a faerie fire or switch to heals and do LOLDPS so I can run around and at least heal myself. I still haven't got a good strat for frogs...

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  2. Isle made for warlocks? Nonsense! Why only the other day an accidental series of pulls left me and my voidwalker buddy facing 2 kiln-masters and a beserker - and they almost killed us! I lost 60% of my health and had to use a healthstone ... not like I can just wave my hand for a second and conjure another one up y'know!

    Still, I'm not sure where this gulp frog hate is coming from. Experience tells me the 3 stacks they manage to get up (on my minion, of course) before dying couldn't possibly be enough to hurt anyone ...

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    1. Why you smug little felpuppy... /whacks Sev on the head with keyboard

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  3. If it's any consolation Cim the Warlock blows through there repeatedly including stupid Bufo and no frog for her. If I didn't see it listed on the AH I wouldn't believe it exists. Same with Cat, no frog drop. Stupid Bufo.

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    1. I'm sorry for Cim! Except hearing the ease at which Cim dispatches them makes me grumpy at warlocks!

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  4. It isn't our fault that warlocks are superior in almost every way, shape and form.

    I haven't been able to understand all the QQ I see from people who can't solo stuff out there.

    I'm like, don't you have a minion and cooldowns?

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    1. /rolls eyes at Lyss
      Now you go and sit in the naughty Warlock corner with Sev there and think about what you did that was wrong. Yes, you cheeky little woman, I mean YOU! /grin

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  5. I love them as a Mistweaver*, although arrogance (and my inability to pay attention to boring stuff like debuffs when more interesting things are going on) has killed me more than once. In fact out of all the mobs to kill on the hellhole which is the Timeless Isle, they are my preferred ones but like Tome, I am bufoless :(

    *Also I'm not convinced that as a healer I should be doing 70 to 100k dps by spamming one spell and letting Xuen roam free.

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  6. It is complete obvious to me, that Gulp Frogs are made for Shadowpriests to kill, round up 3, collect phat lewts.

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    1. Damned OP caster classes! Thank you for dropping by Marathal - I must go and check your blog out! :)

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