Friday, October 18, 2013

Guildleader chores - Leaving guilds, realID and what to tell people

Last weekend, Souglyy left the guild and joined Gutsy's guild on Jubei'thos.  She didn't make a big deal out of it (and did it rather quietly), but she told me her intentions and though I was sad to lose a regular raider, I could understand why she wanted to leave.  There are things she wanted that our guild could not offer her, and they weren't likely to change in the near future.

One of the things was our rotating roster of players, where we have more raiders than raid spots, and people have to sit out.  I realise that everyone likes to play every raid, but in a tight guild roster you can't really have everyone play, and there has to be a little bit of give and take.  I brought this topic up ages ago and one of the suggestions was to have a roster of when people would sit out so that they could organise those days to do something else and not have to worry about turning up to raid.  However, unforseen circumstances such as bad internet connections, RL dramas or being held back at work can drop a raider out at last minute and they may not be able to login to let anyone know what is happening.

One of the ways I have used to try to counter any negativity from this is to advise all new members joining the guild as casuals but would like to raid, about the way our raiding will work.  Even current raiders know that they have to take a turn to sit out, and some tend to sit out more than others, but I try to make it as fair as possible.  Nobody, not even tanks or healers are exempt from being benched when we have extras!

Another thing she was unhappy with was that we had no raid leader.   I know this is an issue, as we have had difficulty finding an appropriate person to lead the raid.  I am hopeless at raid leading, as I tend to be very tunnelled into a healer perspective, and though I read the strategies and watch the videos, I find it hard to explain anything to anyone else that I haven't tried for myself in practice.  Lushnek knows the strats but is very shy with speaking and doesn't want to raid lead (though it doesn't stop him from commenting if you do something WRONG LOL), and Moo is to gruff and grumpy to raid lead (he would probably scare everyone), Sev will complain loudly about having to do it as he would rather snipe smart remarks from the back of the room (lol like any ranged DPS would do!), and Bish doesn't have a mic (nor has he logged in for ages).  The person that I was looking to was Kyxyn, who has now stepped up to tank, and was happy to lead a raid as he was a former GM of a top raiding guild on another oceanic server some years back. He is clear and concise, patient but will be admonishing when people continue to make mistakes on the same things that they should have known, but he had come back from a break and was a bit behind in the tier to be able to catch up during 5.3, but in 5.4 he is up there with the rest of us, allowing him to be able to speak and lead with confidence. Now that he's stepped up, raiding is a lot easier, but it did take some time for that to happen.

Either way, I took on her comments and tried to see what I could do, or if I could improve them.  However, Souglyy is rather quiet in guild, speaking only during raids when needed, and it didn't surprise me that she one day just left the guild without a word.  She had already said goodbye to me, and I could still chat to her on realID so it wasn't a total loss of contact, but to some of the other guildies it was a surprise.

I explained her leaving to them, and they were mollified.  There were other internal guild issues that they thought might have been the cause of her leaving, but she did not say to me that any of those issues were the reason, so I dismissed them.

Today I read on Ysera's Daughter about how she was sad when a guildie she thought of as a friend transferred off server and removed her from realID.  Her anxiety disorder kicked in as she felt like this person left because of her, and had now also removed her as a friend.  Removing people from RealID is a bit funny like that.  People take great offence to it, when if you think about it, there maybe all sorts of reasons other than "I don't like you so I'm removing you from realID".  Sometimes, you just want some alone time, after an in game drama, and seeing people in game who ask you if everything is ok just sets you off. For her guildie, he said
I removed you from Realid due to the fact that I didn’t want to hurt your feelings by telling you when you logged on as I thought that would have lead to more issues rather then resolution.
So is there a proper way to do things?  It depends on why you're leaving, I guess.  If you're not on good terms with your guild, then sure, you can go without a word.  If you're a valued raid member, then at least tell someone who is also a raider or an officer.

I remember when a good friend of mine removed all friends from realID after a depressing guild collapse.  I wasn't particularly worried about it, but others were very upset about being removed from realID.  But I can imagine that after a bad loss, you feel bad and don't want to hang around with other people, or really just talk to others.  And, if you want to play WoW, you just want to totally immerse yourself in the game and pretend it's all new again, where you don't know anyone and can just hide in the anonymity of a large MMO, and remember why you loved the game without constant reminders from your friends that things were not great.

On the flipside, for the unfriended friend who has no idea what happened, you shouldn't be upset that, when things are over, they don't want to be realID friends with you again.  No doubt they feel like they don't have your trust, as you didn't explain to them what happened - so why would they want to be friends with you again as you don't treat them like one?

But back to our guild, what response did we have?  Life has gone on, and now I am wondering if I need to recruit more casual raiders again.  But really, how many people out there would be willing to be on a rotating roster to sit out?  If Bish came back, or Voros was here or if Evea wanted to step up and raid... so many if's!  Man, the thought of trolling trade... sigh, but you never know, we might get someone who would be a real asset!

11 comments:

  1. Has flex raiding somewhat lessened the stricter expectations? Or is it still a juggling act?

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    1. We only do flex once a week and if we are short we do flex as well so we can pug some people. I think it helps for those who want to do a bit of raiding because they can't make the commitment to raid, but it hasn't really helped the normal raiding as much. But at least we have options!

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  2. Too bad about the time difference. I wouldn't have an issue with being a "sometimes" raider. :(

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    1. :P you know even SLICE considered getting up early for a once a week raid! :P We would love to have you here Lyss!

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  3. I have been upset by a couple of people who removed me in the past, thinking I was at fault, but there could be any number of reasons why they removed me. I tend to remove people from RealID if I haven't spoken to them for awhile. I don't tell them why usually. I feel like I can't explain my reasoning, that we don't talk so I am removing them, without sounding rude. It's hard, and I hope I haven't upset anyone by disappearing!

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    1. I've been removed by good friends a few times - it hasn't really bothered me but I can see why it would be upsetting! Most of the time I think they'll eventually come back... and they usually do.

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  4. I have never liked the RealID. I don't always feel like talking to people and RealID feels like you just can't "get away" when you want to. And sometimes I don't want to log in and spend hours sorting the guild vault, or the roster, or listening to complaints or excuses. Not that I do those all the time now .. our guild (other than the admin side of things) tends to putter along quite nicely by itself - but sometimes it is nice to be able to log in and know you're not going to immediately be pounced on to answer a question or make something ...

    I suppose part of the lack of need for it, also, is how I play WoW. Other than LFR, which is a huge jump into pot-luck land, I tend to avoid pugs. Virtually everyone I know either has a character in our guild, or has characters on our realm. If people want to talk to me, they just log onto a character on our realm (or contact via our website/facebook/twitter). I try to make a point of being online at around the same time every evening, and am often on during the day as well at various times.

    Admittedly, for those in different time-zones, that can make it a little more difficult to track me down, but hey! :P

    Regardless, if I want a bit of "me" time, I can log onto a non-guilded character, or on another realm, and not feel like I'm constantly about to be stalked :P

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    1. I don't like RealID but I do like battletag. I don't want people to know my real name! I wish there was an option to appear offline like on messenger if I want to play quietly by myself on some unnamed alt (like THAT'S ever going to happen!). And, yes it would be very hard to track you down! LOL I should just thank my lucky stars I did find you :)

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  5. It's funny, when I was raiding I thought the rotation thing worked pretty well. We had people that were in the raid, a couple of standbys, and people that were not in the raid at all. Those latter could plan other things with no expectation that they be available.

    I thought it was nice to have a break every four weeks or so. Raiding - especially progression - wears one down even at two nights a week. I guess that's why I'm not a 'pro' :)

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    1. I like the idea a lot but some people get grouchy about it nonetheless Grimm. And what worries me is if they are rostered off and then we have emergencies and need urgent replacements! But I'm sure it wouldn't be that disastrous now - Flex is very good like that for saving raid nights :)

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    2. Those emergencies is why we had three grades - "standby" wasn't "in" the raid unless we had a no-show. People that were "off" were free to do whatever they wanted (even raid with someone else, the horror!).

      I know people still got grumpy about it - we had that in our guild as well, and I never understood that. The rules were clear, we asked for feedback and got none, we actually went out to ALL the raiders to discuss it before implementing. I dunno what to do with people some times.

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