Friday, March 22, 2013

Stupid Persistent Annoying Messages (SPAM)

*** WARNING: LANGUAGE AND CONTENT MAY OFFEND SOME READERS ***

Dear SPAMmers,

Thank you, you annoying little fuckers, for visiting my blog.  I often wonder whether I actually have that many visitors to my site when it turns out most of them are not really here to read about the spawn times of Oondasta or Pet battles or Throne of Thunder.  I can't imagine that I would get more than 20 people who come to read what I have to say normally, but I should thank you for inflating those numbers like one of those blow up dick extensions you're trying to sell.

However, I am confused as to why you might think I might want to visit your stupid-ass sites.  This is clearly a World of Warcraft Fan blog site.  Perhaps you think I may need a fast cash loan for those penis encasing fleshlights for those fake vaginas.  My toon is not fat and she doesn't need to lose weight.  Nor does she have any money for franchise opportunities.  Pocket pussy - now is that a miniature cat or have I just figured out why some people walk around with their hands in their pockets all the time.  I was almost tempted to click it out of curiosity.  And who needs casino games when I have Darkmoon Faire?

What baffles me the most is why you keep visiting one particular blogpost.  My poor post, Kologarn gives up One achievement has the highest number of spam messages... and I'm not sure why!  Of course it wouldn't surprise me if it had been my Goldshire post because at least THEN the spam content would be vaguely relevant to what I had found on my adventure there.

Some of the comments are almost clever!  This one looked almost like something Ancient would write:
Woω thаt ωaѕ oԁԁ. I just wгote an verу lοng comment but аfteг I clicked submit my cоmment didn't appear. Grrrr... well I'm not ωгiting all thаt ovег аgain. Regarԁlesѕ, ϳust wаntеd tο say eхсellent blоg! Herе iѕ my weblog
Fortunately for me, Blogger seems to be able to spot you assholes straight away.  There is the occasional accident where one of my friends gets mistaken for one of you SPAMmers but those are few and far between.  I know you SPAMmers will never read this post, but I really wish you would just take your tantric sex books and other sex toys and go play with them instead of sticking it all over my PG-rated blog.

Yes, I hear you when you say that I've made it easy for you to come and post on my blog by removing the Captcha.  But that stupid thing makes me not want to comment on my OWN blog, and I don't want to hinder any of rmy friends who want to leave an actual thoughtful and RELEVENT comment.

So get lost. I look forward to your response.  No... wait... no I don't.  Thank you for taking the time to read this letter.

Kind regards,
Navimie

13 comments:

  1. Tantric sex books!!?!?

    ...

    ... do they have a Dwarven edition?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Shrink everything by half and I think you could pass it as a dwarf... :p

      Delete
  2. Tin-foil hat time! I bet they have a post on their evil spammer forums linking directly to the Kologarn post. 'Hey felloω spamming turds, Woω, look here, she doesn't delete us from this post! MOAR SPAMS!!' (I possibly just wanted to use ω as w) :D

    As for CAPTCHA. Since discovering awhile ago that they don't actually need to be 100% exact, I make a point of typing them incorrectly every time I see one. Pushing it each time to see how wrong I can be and still beat it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol Luxy! You know I have wondered about those captcha things because I wasn't sure I got it right but it still gets thru Ok...

      Delete
  3. Fake Vagina's??? Do they also wash clothes and clean the house?
    If so, I am getting a few...lol

    Sabre

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lmao that comment is gonna get you in trouble Sabre! Though the truth is the guys love that comment...

      Delete
  4. Replies
    1. Hello Spammer! If you were cleverer and put Steamed Crab Surprise or Banquet of the Steamer I might have clicked you! But alas, you never read my replies...

      Delete
  5. I promise that wasn't me. The spammers seem to be operating under the misconception that I want to see naked women. I AM a naked woman at times so this interests me little. I guess I must take some of the responsibility for saying "naked" so many times but really why aren't they tempting me with naked men, lol.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh you have made me laugh with your comment "I am a naked woman sometimes". And I honestly don't know why they think I would want a fake vagina, I mean where would I keep it...

      Delete
  6. Navi just moderate comments; I have the same reactions and love this post!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was cleaning up my poor Kologarn part again and I was muttering to myself and thought what a great post that would be LOL
      Thanks Matty for "getting" me :D

      Delete