I still don't think I'm a feminist
I was looking at some of the traffic through my blog and I came across this one at Tami Baribeau - FYI, you're a feminist.
I do love a good discussion, but it's hard for me to agree with Tami. She said:
It’s great that you feel as if you can just ignore the sexism that goes on around you and just live your own life, I give you kudos for having such high quality blinders on.
I am not sure she understood what I was trying to say because I wanted to demonstrate that from MY perspective, in MY life, in MY profession, sexism is not really an issue. I am not denying that it goes on in other places, but that is why I said in my post - am I blind to Sexism? Because if you look at my life, my workplace, my profession, you find that there are equal opportunities for both men and women. Women work and earn the same as men - or rather, have the potential to earn the same as a man. Dollars per hour, I earn as much as my male colleagues. I hold a position of responsibility. I don't earn as much as some of them because I don't want to work 5-6 days a week. I like my laid back lifestyle with 3 day weekends and most Friday afternoons off.
I’ve worked my way up to Studio Director, and it wasn’t easy. I had people telling me that I slept with someone to get my position. I’ve had people call me a bitch for being assertive and forward at work, traits that are stereotypically male. I’ve had people act as if it was weird that their manager is a woman. I’ve had my arguments dismissed because I’m not a hardcore enough gamer because I’m woman.
And it's unfortunate that she has had to experience that, but I wanted to point out that it's not ALWAYS like that. I don't want young girls out there thinking that EVERYWHERE is a fight because you're female and you will always be treated this way. I believe that your own abilities will shine through, and you don't have to go around being all "Ha! I'm a woman and I made it here so there!" because whether you're a man or woman doesn't matter. Your own abilities speak for themselves. Tami, I am sure, is not only very talented, she is assertive and strong minded as well. Perhaps the reason I have no problems is because I'm not an ATTRACTIVE female. Now I will wholeheartedly agree that if you are attractive and get places, and probably more because you're female, you will get discriminated against more. You will get those horrible "Who did you sleep with?" comments because people don't see BEYOND what is outside, and look to what is within. And the worst part is there are those who do use their looks to get places, which only perpetuates that perception even more.
Effraeti, was also mentioned in Tami's post. I feel like Effraeti and I have a lot in common. We both have a lot of male friends - my male friends outnumber my female friends. And why? Because we have the same interests! I am not a typical female who likes hanging out in mother's groups and talking about baby clothes stores like the other mothers my age. My daughter adopts my interests - she can make a Vulcan greeting sign and say "Live long and prosper, mummy", she knows "Peter Parker is inside Spiderman," and why? Because I love those things. They're not boy things, they're the things I like, I'm interested in. I teach my daughter that she can do anything, but that women and men are still different - anatomically. I never say "You can be as good as a boy" to her because there is no need to say that, you can be as good as anyone regardless of sex, and she will hopefully grow up understanding my standpoint that there is no difference being male or female in terms of achievement
I'm not denying I'm female - I still like to go out to a party dressed up nicely to look feminine, but my agenda isn't to push femininity as the way to be and be angry at those who deny us being female. I respect everyone's choices, but I don't like people telling me that I am something when I am not. I am equalist. If I push for men's rights, for example, those men who live under the rule of Amazons of old, does that make me feminist? According to Tami's definition, it does - as she says being a feminist is about fighting oppression against all unfair things. I agree with fighting oppression when faced with it and I applaud her standing up to it all. I look at Oestrus and think the same thing - she's really strong minded and wants what's right by everyone, but she respects my decision, which is what I do to everyone as well. I just don't like that label feminist because the word Femme in it still means woman, and I want things to be equal. Doesn't mean I don't like feminists. I am just not one, that's all.
And I hope that nobody is offended by my post, and if they are, I'm sorry. I merely wanted to defend my standpoint, and correct any misunderstandings.
Edit: Effy posted something too! Gamer girl responds.