Where Navimie is corrupted by the Sha of Pride
Of all my faults, I know that I am really resistant to people offering me help when I didn't ask for it. The classic example would be Proving Grounds.
There are many Proven Healers out there, and I really want to be part of that club, and I am always failing at round 29. I have failed at round 29 since my 3rd attempt at Endless and it's the bleed from the digger bunnies + the Mantid Hive singer that I'm not doing very well. Medio offered to help me with it - in that he would do them at the same time I was doing it, and I refused.
"I can do it by myself," I said.
"Obviously you can't," he replied, which only made me bristle more. "I want to help."
"I don't need help. I just need to stop being a dumbass, but thanks anyway."
I don't want someone to help me do it and then be constantly reminded that I needed help to do it.
Another example of me being stupid is doing Challenge Modes. I have done a fair few, but with some of the group I hadn't done it as often (maybe twice - times don't match up) and I remember when we were at Sha in Shado-pan Monastery, and CTwin said to me "Now Navi, don't dispel the debuff from Sha because we need it to DPS boss." Really. Gee do you think I had never done this dungeon before, let alone done it more than 10 times already on Challenge Mode, that I hadn't figured that out yet? And I had HEALED all those challenge modes! I mean, that was what was going on in my head, I shouldn't have been so narky about it because I just said "Are you REALLY telling me what to do. I mean REALLY. Like I haven't healed this before like... 10 times... F***..." I know that was unreasonable. He was trying to make sure the run goes smoothly, I shouldn't have just said it like that. Maybe I would have responded better to "I haven't run this with you healing before Navi, you know what to do?" but that was just my own stupid pride and I regretted saying it as soon as it came out of my mouth. But now I've just decided to make light of it and make it a running joke about him bossing me around, because CTwin can't help himself, he still tells us what to do on our Frostwolves Garrosh Flex runs. Like we hadn't got it down pat already.
Reading this people may think "Gee, if Navi's going to be like that I'm not going to offer any advice!" but that's not what I'm trying to make a point of here. What I'm saying is that I need to learn to take advice, and accept it without letting my pride prickle me into sharp retorts. I KNOW that people are only trying to help, and I just need to say that to myself everytime someone says something rather than me thinking "I know I know stop telling me," because someone will tell me something new that I would have overlooked because I was being too prideful.
The other week I decided to do an LFR because I wanted to have a go at the belts on Blackfuse. I ended up entering the LFR at Paragons, which was rather disappointing and I had to heal it. It was messy but the other druid was kicking my butt. I noticed him before because he had my shoulders, but in blue, and he had a name like a David Eddings book, Belgarad. So I put more effort into healing but he still outhealed me and when I looked at him later he was fully heroic with 13/14H kills - gee no wonder! Then I was surprised when he whispered me at the end "Do you use any healing addons?"
I replied that I did, I used healbot. He was using Grid for the first time, and he found it difficult. He said he only uses standard UI and keybound all his heals, which I admit I can't do anymore - healing addons have made me spoilt. He told me that he couldn't see what was happening with people's health with Grid and he was told to try it out but he prefers his normal method, and then we had a long discussion about what buttons he uses to keybind and he ended up sending me pictures of his keybinds. He seemed really pleasant, not condescending at all and happy to chat, and we swapped Btags because I didn't want to stand around in LFR talking to him all day because I had pet battles to do. It was interesting, and I was tempted to try it... but why should I change something that isn't broken, right? My healing works for me so I'll just leave it. And the whole encounter was pleasant because he never told me that I should do it his way, it was just a nice chat.
So I am going to make a huge effort not to be a tool and listen politely to everything everyone says because they're only trying to help, they are not talking down to me like I'm stupid. And because I am listening, every now and then I am going to learn something really cool. So if I am ever not listening to advice, I want you to tell me that I PROMISED I was going to listen to all advice given! (Whether I take it, is another matter!)
"I can do it by myself," I said.
"Obviously you can't," he replied, which only made me bristle more. "I want to help."
"I don't need help. I just need to stop being a dumbass, but thanks anyway."
I don't want someone to help me do it and then be constantly reminded that I needed help to do it.
Another example of me being stupid is doing Challenge Modes. I have done a fair few, but with some of the group I hadn't done it as often (maybe twice - times don't match up) and I remember when we were at Sha in Shado-pan Monastery, and CTwin said to me "Now Navi, don't dispel the debuff from Sha because we need it to DPS boss." Really. Gee do you think I had never done this dungeon before, let alone done it more than 10 times already on Challenge Mode, that I hadn't figured that out yet? And I had HEALED all those challenge modes! I mean, that was what was going on in my head, I shouldn't have been so narky about it because I just said "Are you REALLY telling me what to do. I mean REALLY. Like I haven't healed this before like... 10 times... F***..." I know that was unreasonable. He was trying to make sure the run goes smoothly, I shouldn't have just said it like that. Maybe I would have responded better to "I haven't run this with you healing before Navi, you know what to do?" but that was just my own stupid pride and I regretted saying it as soon as it came out of my mouth. But now I've just decided to make light of it and make it a running joke about him bossing me around, because CTwin can't help himself, he still tells us what to do on our Frostwolves Garrosh Flex runs. Like we hadn't got it down pat already.
Reading this people may think "Gee, if Navi's going to be like that I'm not going to offer any advice!" but that's not what I'm trying to make a point of here. What I'm saying is that I need to learn to take advice, and accept it without letting my pride prickle me into sharp retorts. I KNOW that people are only trying to help, and I just need to say that to myself everytime someone says something rather than me thinking "I know I know stop telling me," because someone will tell me something new that I would have overlooked because I was being too prideful.
The other week I decided to do an LFR because I wanted to have a go at the belts on Blackfuse. I ended up entering the LFR at Paragons, which was rather disappointing and I had to heal it. It was messy but the other druid was kicking my butt. I noticed him before because he had my shoulders, but in blue, and he had a name like a David Eddings book, Belgarad. So I put more effort into healing but he still outhealed me and when I looked at him later he was fully heroic with 13/14H kills - gee no wonder! Then I was surprised when he whispered me at the end "Do you use any healing addons?"
I replied that I did, I used healbot. He was using Grid for the first time, and he found it difficult. He said he only uses standard UI and keybound all his heals, which I admit I can't do anymore - healing addons have made me spoilt. He told me that he couldn't see what was happening with people's health with Grid and he was told to try it out but he prefers his normal method, and then we had a long discussion about what buttons he uses to keybind and he ended up sending me pictures of his keybinds. He seemed really pleasant, not condescending at all and happy to chat, and we swapped Btags because I didn't want to stand around in LFR talking to him all day because I had pet battles to do. It was interesting, and I was tempted to try it... but why should I change something that isn't broken, right? My healing works for me so I'll just leave it. And the whole encounter was pleasant because he never told me that I should do it his way, it was just a nice chat.
So I am going to make a huge effort not to be a tool and listen politely to everything everyone says because they're only trying to help, they are not talking down to me like I'm stupid. And because I am listening, every now and then I am going to learn something really cool. So if I am ever not listening to advice, I want you to tell me that I PROMISED I was going to listen to all advice given! (Whether I take it, is another matter!)
I suffer from the same issue. I get huffy when my husband tries to show me how to do something even if I'm struggling with it and I hate people watching me do things especially when I'm not 100 percent comfortable doing it.
ReplyDeleteIt's not that I don't want to learn, I'd just rather struggle along myself til I figure it out or ask for help.
I also would rather struggle along figuring it out myself and then ask for advice and then try it again till I get it. I just need to not get huffy.
DeleteMy advice is that you don't listen to anyone's advice.
ReplyDeleteI am going to listen to all advice. Heeding it is a different thing.
Delete"Hey! Listen!" - Something Navi says to you, not something you say to Navi! :P
ReplyDeleteI understand where you're coming from, and it's good that you're working on not bristling as much, but it's not all your responsibility. People can also take the time and effort to phrase their advice better. For example, in your challenge mode scenario, I doubt you'd have taken it so personally had they said something like "Remember, we're not dispelling as we need it for DPS" to the whole group, not naming any names.
In other words, everyone can do better.
You know me Dah! I can't change everyone but I can change myself.
DeleteGrid can be a major pain to customize to your liking, but the big thing about it is almost everything is customizable with additional addons. If he was trying to install grid and use it for the first time I can understand why he didn't like it. The default little boxes I personally never liked, but you can change it to be more like health bars. It really takes having someone that knows grid well to help you set up the first time. Be that a tutorial or a friend. That's impressive that he does all his healing with standard UI. I don't think I've used standard UI since vanilla and I don't think I could play without addons anymore.
ReplyDelete